Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine...and those who don't.

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli (E. coli) - bacteria  found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember:
Water = Poop
Wine = Health

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

[Brokeback_Dev]

good one, Kerry.  I'll probably not drink wate for the next several weeks.  GRoss

[Katie77]

We are on tank water, which we proudly claim as being chemical free, no odour, no cloudiness, just pure fresh water.

We just ignore the fact that it runs off our roof which is probably covered in bird shit, or that cane toads are probably swimming around in it, not to mention the ashes from the cane fires that sit in our house gutters, or the dead insects that probably fall through the sieve.

To us it is just pure fresh rain water.

[Brokeback_Dev]

We are on tank water, which we proudly claim as being chemical free, no odour, no cloudiness, just pure fresh water.

We just ignore the fact that it runs off our roof which is probably covered in bird shit, or that cane toads are probably swimming around in it, not to mention the ashes from the cane fires that sit in our house gutters, or the dead insects that probably fall through the sieve.

To us it is just pure fresh rain water.

Thats some dirty water!!   And yu call that fresh ?  Yuk

[Brokeback_Dev]

I drink only bottled water, but cook and clean with tap water.  DO you think bottle water is full of poop too?

[Katie77]

Thats some dirty water!!   And yu call that fresh ?  Yuk

Honestly, when we have a glass of our water, and hold it up to the light, it is crystal clear, not a speck of anything in it.

[Kerry]

I drink only bottled water, but cook and clean with tap water.  DO you think bottle water is full of poop too?

I wouldn't take my joke about the E.coli in the water too seriously, Dev. It was emailed to me by a friend and I accepted it as a joke, not a serious report about a legitimate scientific study. I think it's just something someone made up as a joke. The punch-line at the end is the key. I drink Sydney tap water by the gallon. I love it. I haven't died yet! (touch wood) 

[Katie77]

'THE  AUSTRALIAN APPROACH'............................

A young Aussie  lad moved to London and  went to Harrods looking for a job.

The manager asked 'Do you have  any sales experience?'

The young man answered 'Yeah, I was a  salesman back home in Dubbo.'

The manager liked the Aussie so he  gave him the job.

His first day on the job was challenging and  busy, but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the  manager came20down and asked, 'OK, so
how many sales did you make  today?'

The Aussie said 'One!'

The manager groaned and  continued,
'Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day.  How much was
the sale for?'

£ 124,237.64. pounds'

The  manager choked and exclaimed 124,237.64 POUNDS!!

What the hell did  you sell him?'

'Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a  medium fish hook, and
then I sold him a new fishing rod.

Then  I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, 
so I told him he would need a boat, so we went down to the boat  department
and I sold him that twin-engined Power Cat.

Then he  said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him
down  to car sales and I sold him the 4 x 4 Suzuki'.

The manager,  incredulous, said 'You mean to tell me....a guy came in here
to buy a  fish hook and you sold him a boat and a 4x4?'

'No no no......he  came in here to buy a box of tampons for his lady friend
and I  said.........

'Well, since your weekend's buggered, you might as  well go fishing.'