Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Katie77]

Heres one you didnt find.......


Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the kings horses and all the kings men.....said
What the F***......Its only an egg....

[southendmd]

And another!

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It had not been the spider that crept up beside her
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

[southendmd]

One more:

Mary had a little lamb,
It walked into a pylon,
10,000 volts went up it's arse,
And turned it's wool to nylon.

[David In Indy]

[Kerry]

   Hilarious!    

Looooove  the nursery rhymes, Sue & Paul! Not sure that Calvin would understand, but Hobbes certainly would.     

[Kerry]

[Katie77]

Trouble with his joints......

[Katie77]

FIVE BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK:

NUMBER 5: 'They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen.'
NUMBER 4 : 'This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time-management course you sent me to.'
NUMBER 3 : 'Whew!? Guess I left the top off the White-out. You probably got here just in time!'
NUMBER 2: 'Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?'

And the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk: (Raising your head slowly) '... in Jesus' name, Amen'

[Katie77]

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming
around in Mexico

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious
looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the
smell was wonderful.

He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?'

The waiter replied, 'Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are
called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A
delicacy!'

The cowboy said, 'What the heck, bring me an order.'

The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving
per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early
and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.'

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that
evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few
bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, 'These are
delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve
yesterday.'
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, 'Si, Senor.

Sometimes the bull wins."

[Kerry]