Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Katie77]

Did you hear about the bloke who walked into a petrol station and asked for $10 worth of gas??

The attendant farted, and gave him a receipt.

[dot-matrix]

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time.

Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.

They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.

'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively -

'I would like it infrequently' she replied.

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses and leaned over towards her and whispered

'Is that one word or two?' 

[dot-matrix]

A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?'

The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.'

The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?'

'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.'

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'

The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'

The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens.

[dot-matrix]

[Katie77]

'To My Dear Wife:

 You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife.
Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset - I shall be home before midnight .
 
'When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table: ' My Dear Husband :
 
 I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old.
I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old.
As you know, I am a maths teacher at our local college.
I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach.   He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old.   As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of maths, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference:-
18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.
Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.'
 

 

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Artiste]

Merci Kerry !

That is funny !

Guess that we all take turns to hear ONLY some words ?

Au revoir,
hugs!