Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Katie77]

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.  One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'

The other replies, 'Oh, sure I do.'

The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'

The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'

After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'

***********************************************************

[Katie77]

How to Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to
 lights and darks.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
more  sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
 pumice  stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
 vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.


How to Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in
 a  pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo'  sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath
 the  whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the
'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

This is very clever . . . . . . and it's funny, too! 

http://fc01.deviantart.com/fs13/f/2007/077/2/e/Animator_vs__Animation_by_alanbecker.swf

 

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

This is funny . . . . . .

Go to Google and type in the word Google backwards and then click on I'm Feeling Lucky.

    

[dot-matrix]

OLD IS WHEN
Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love,"
and you answer. "Pick one; I can't do both."

OLD IS WHEN
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator
shoes and you're barefoot.

OLD IS WHEN
A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker
opens the garage door.

OLD IS WHEN
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor
instead of by the police.

OLD IS WHEN
Getting a little action means you don't need
to take any fiber today.

OLD IS WHEN
Getting lucky means you find your car in the
parking lot.

OLD IS WHENAn all nighter means not getting up to use the
bathroom.

OLD IS WHEN
You are not sure these are jokes.