Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Katie77]

A woman is in a grocery store and happens upon a grandpa and his poorly behaving 3 year-old grandson at every turn. It's obvious gramps has his hands full with the kid screaming for candy in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle; same for fruit, cereal and soda.

Meanwhile gramps is working his way around saying in a controlled voice, 'easy Albert, we won't be long, easy boy'.

Another outburst and she hears gramps calmly say, 'it's OK Albert, just a couple more minutes and we'll be outta here, hang in there.

At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items from the cart and gramps again in a controlled voice is saying, 'Albert, Albert, relax buddy, don't get upset -- we'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, Albert'.

Very impressed the woman goes up to gramps as he's loading the kid and the groceries into the car and says, 'You know sir, it's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. The whole time you kept your composure and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things like 'it would be OK'.  Albert is very lucky to have you for his grandpa'.

'Thanks, lady,' said gramps, 'but I'm Albert this little bastard's name is Johnny'.

 

 

[Kerry]

Funny? or Sad?

In any event, it must be a short article...

Speaking as a non-American, viewing American politics with the detached eye of an external observer, I feel compelled to comment on how much GWB has aged over the past eight years. When first elected, he was a handsome young man. Now he's a wrinkled, bent, grey-haired old man. Not really surprising. It must be one of the most stressful jobs on Earth. Though, it didn't appear to age Bill Clinton.          

[Kerry]

[Katie77]

Why parents drink

 


The boss wondered why one of his most valued employee had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. 'Hello ?'



 
 



'Is your daddy home?' he asked.



   
 



' Yes ,' whispered the small voice.



 
 



'May I talk with him?'



 
 



The child whispered, 'No.'



 

 



Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mommy there?'



 
 



'Yes.'



 

 



'May I talk with her?'




 

 



Again the small voice whispered, 'No .'




 
 



Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else t here?'



 

 



'Yes ,' whispered the child, 'a policeman '.

 



 

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'



   
 



' No, he's busy ', whispered the child.



   

 



'Busy doing what?'



   

 



'Talking to Daddy  and Mommy and the Fireman ,' came the whispered answer.


 




 

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'



 
 



'A helicopter ' answered the whispering voice.




   
 



'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.



 

 



Again, whispering, the child answered, The  search team just  landed a helicopter . ' 
 
 


 


 


 


Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'



 

 



Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...






 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 



'ME .'




 


 
 
 


 

[Katie77]

Here is a very funny stand up comedian, talking about his arrival in Australia

[Katie77]

[Penthesilea]

Here is a very funny stand up comedian, talking about his arrival in Australia

Thanks for posting this Sue

"I'm pretty sure I packed more than this"
 
OMG, I'm still laughing

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

Confucius say, " Before giving consideration to phoning-in, sick, on Monday, make sure your boss is nowhere within earshot!"   

Have a happy work week, everyone!   

[optom3]

I have just spent nearly 5 hours on this section and I have never laughed so much in all my life.The FBI one with the 2 male and 1 female applicant and the tickle me Elmo made my youngest son laugh so much he was blowing sprite back out through his nose.
Thankyou all for making a very very wet day in Florida go so quickly.!!!
What's more going backwards, (I don't know why) I am not even half way through.
Bettermost really does reach the parts no other site can.I was so absorbed, I missed half the Federer match.
I wil have to not sign in tomorrow, until after Nadal has played !!! That would be nearly as bad as missing a Heath film!!!