I wonder if he was hoping for another nomination for his role in "I'm Not There" and then the nominations were announced today, and he wasn't nominated... 
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And to that, "Damn you Heath!" 
I'm sorry things were so bad that it came to this. Maybe if you woulda just waited for that massage you would have felt better afterwards. You were extremely talented and I loved ALL your movies you acted in. I especially liked you as Jacob in The Brothers Grimm. If you did this purposely, I can't say I respect that. But putting myself in your shoes, I can understand the extreme amount of pressure you must have been under right at the moment. Break up with Michelle. Everyone ravin' about your performance in Batman. But mostly only being remembered for Brokeback Mountain. No Oscar nomination for I'm Not There. I don't know what you were thinking or what pressure you were under really. I'm just trying to put myself in your shoes.
To that, like others said, he might be iconic like James Dean now. Now maybe more folks will seek out his films to watch and be more appreciative of his roles and acting abilites. Maybe more folks will seek out Brokeback Mountain, and apprieciate it more now than before. I hate that it's a two-edged sword. You didn't need to die. 
I don't think how he felt had anything to do with not getting another Oscar nomination. I don't think he was about accolades at all - he always seemed almost befuddled by all the accolades for his Ennis.
And I think that if his death was not accidental, it wasn't just about splitting up with Michelle or being messed up from playing the Joker like he did or all the pressures on him, or even a combination of all those things. There is really just one reason people commit suicide, and that is because they are clinically depressed or bipolar.
If it is somehow determined that he did take his own life, my heartbreak for him is that he endured the agony of the depression that led to it. Beyond serious physical injury or disease, there is nothing more devastating. I know. I seriously considered taking my own life when my son was six weeks old. The post-partum depression I had was so severe, I was consumed with thoughts of incompetency in every area in life, and guilt. The thought of living out the rest of my days feeling that way was excruciating. I was exhausted from caring for a newborn, sure, but my dear husband did all the night feedings so I could get some sleep at night. And yet I couldn't sleep. Some people with depression just sleep all the time - I was on the opposite end of the spectrum. I wished for sleep desperately, but none came. When you're seriously depressed or bipolar, you do not have rational thoughts like, "Jesus, I'm really fucked up. I need to get some help." You believe that the way you feel is normal for you and permanent. The only way you can get help, often, is if someone else notices and forces you to. Thank God someone did both of things in my case, and that someone was not my own husband, but my OB-GYN. I nearly walked out into the ocean one day and let it swallow me up. The only thing that kept me from doing it was some tiny shred of my previous self somewhere inside me who screamed "NO!!!" at the top of her lungs. The next day, I went to my OB-GYN for a follow up, and she proceeded to save my life from that point forward.
I used to think people who committed suicide were incredibly selfish cowards. My mother attempted it with sleeping pills when I was 12, and I hated her for it for a long time. I never fully forgave her until I truly understood what she must have gone through. I regret that I didn't truly understand until she'd been gone for 10 years, and I'll regret that I didn't forgive her in time for the rest of my life.
It always seems unfathomable to people that someone with a beautiful child and a seemingly charmed life could be suicidal. But it isn't circumstances alone that bring it on. It is a severe chemical imbalance in the brain that makes thoughts like "My son/daughter/family/friends would be better off without me" seem completely rational. It also makes the thought of living a life drained of all hope unbearable. It is a waking death.
If this is true of Heath, my heart hurts so much to think of how he must have been feeling in the end, because I know. It isn't any less tragic than if it was indeed an accidental overdose, because in both cases, it was preventable.
Topic: Heath Ledger - the grieving thread (Read 729519 times)