Author Topic: Heath Ledger - the grieving thread  (Read 200061 times)

Online serious crayons

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Re: Heath Ledger - the grieving thread
« Reply #310 on: January 23, 2008, 01:06:48 pm »
Hey {{{Mel.}}} The only non-awful thing in all this is the chance to see old friends, even if under such awful circumstances. I'm so thankful that we all have a place to get together when we need it.

 :'(



Offline BennyBoy

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Re: Heath Ledger - the grieving thread
« Reply #311 on: January 23, 2008, 01:07:58 pm »
I'll always remember the first time I saw Heath.  It was in a Knight's Tale and I remember thinking how brave he was.  There were some fairly embarrassing parts in that film and I remember thinking "what an actor."  I then saw him in The Patriot and although I had to swallow my hatred towards a few others in that film I remember Heath most of all.  I remember feeling so down when he died in the film.  I never actually thought that it would ever happen in real life though. 

The first time I heard about Brokeback Mountain, god that was almost 3 years ago I thought "what Hollywood actors are going to be brave enough and mature enough to play roles such as these."  This was before Heath and Jake had signed on to the film.  When I heard that Heath was going to play the lead role I was pleasantly surprised.  I remember thinking how brave he was and I knew he would do the role justice.  And boy did he. 

As much as I hate to say this and I hope no one takes this offensively but perhaps he's in a better place now.  I just wish him all the happiness that he can possibly find.  I sympathize for his parents, siblings, daughter and Michelle.  And I sympathize everyone who is struggling with this right now, whether they be a former co-star, childhood friend, former love interest or a few truly caring individuals who are in love with his work and have devoted the last 2 years to an online community. 
Heath will live in our hearts forever just as BBM does.  Try not to remember him for the negative but focus on the positive.  Focus on how real he was.  How inspirational he was.  Heath has touched the souls of every person on this site in one way or another. 

So please...try to dry your tears and take part in a moment of silence...death is not the end.  It's just another part of the journey. 

I'm still a kid. I'm like six years old. But it's just a matter of wanting to get up, it's just a big journey. I felt like when I left home that I was on a journey, and I still am.








1979 - ETERNITY
I want to know God's thoughts... the rest are details. - Albert Einstein

Offline mariez

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Re: Heath Ledger - the grieving thread
« Reply #312 on: January 23, 2008, 01:11:09 pm »
This is the best place to be right now.

I'm holed up in my office with the door closed.  I don't want to talk to anyone, and I don't feel like doing anything.  I know everyone is wondering what's wrong with me.   The world is different now.  And I keep wondering why everything doesn't feel so different to everyone else.  Except for here - where everyone understands.   

Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline ednbarby

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Re: Heath Ledger dead - grieving thread
« Reply #313 on: January 23, 2008, 01:16:59 pm »
I wonder if he was hoping for another nomination for his role in "I'm Not There" and then the nominations were announced today, and he wasn't nominated... :(
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And to that, "Damn you Heath!"  >:(   I'm sorry things were so bad that it came to this.  Maybe if you woulda just waited for that massage you would have felt better afterwards.  You were extremely talented and I loved ALL your movies you acted in.  I especially liked you as Jacob in The Brothers Grimm.  If you did this purposely, I can't say I respect that.  But putting myself in your shoes, I can understand the extreme amount of pressure you must have been under right at the moment.  Break up with Michelle.  Everyone ravin' about your performance in Batman.  But mostly only being remembered for Brokeback Mountain.  No Oscar nomination for I'm Not There.  I don't know what you were thinking or what pressure you were under really.  I'm just trying to put myself in your shoes.

To that, like others said, he might be iconic like James Dean now.  Now maybe more folks will seek out his films to watch and be more appreciative of his roles and acting abilites.  Maybe more folks will seek out Brokeback Mountain, and apprieciate it more now than before.  I hate that it's a two-edged sword.  You didn't need to die.  :'(


I don't think how he felt had anything to do with not getting another Oscar nomination.  I don't think he was about accolades at all - he always seemed almost befuddled by all the accolades for his Ennis.

And I think that if his death was not accidental, it wasn't just about splitting up with Michelle or being messed up from playing the Joker like he did or all the pressures on him, or even a combination of all those things.  There is really just one reason people commit suicide, and that is because they are clinically depressed or bipolar.

If it is somehow determined that he did take his own life, my heartbreak for him is that he endured the agony of the depression that led to it.  Beyond serious physical injury or disease, there is nothing more devastating.  I know.  I seriously considered taking my own life when my son was six weeks old.  The post-partum depression I had was so severe, I was consumed with thoughts of incompetency in every area in life, and guilt.  The thought of living out the rest of my days feeling that way was excruciating.  I was exhausted from caring for a newborn, sure, but my dear husband did all the night feedings so I could get some sleep at night.  And yet I couldn't sleep.  Some people with depression just sleep all the time - I was on the opposite end of the spectrum.  I wished for sleep desperately, but none came.  When you're seriously depressed or bipolar, you do not have rational thoughts like, "Jesus, I'm really fucked up.  I need to get some help."  You believe that the way you feel is normal for you and permanent.  The only way you can get help, often, is if someone else notices and forces you to.  Thank God someone did both of things in my case, and that someone was not my own husband, but my OB-GYN.  I nearly walked out into the ocean one day and let it swallow me up.  The only thing that kept me from doing it was some tiny shred of my previous self somewhere inside me who screamed "NO!!!" at the top of her lungs.  The next day, I went to my OB-GYN for a follow up, and she proceeded to save my life from that point forward.

I used to think people who committed suicide were incredibly selfish cowards.  My mother attempted it with sleeping pills when I was 12, and I hated her for it for a long time.  I never fully forgave her until I truly understood what she must have gone through.  I regret that I didn't truly understand until she'd been gone for 10 years, and I'll regret that I didn't forgive her in time for the rest of my life.

It always seems unfathomable to people that someone with a beautiful child and a seemingly charmed life could be suicidal.  But it isn't circumstances alone that bring it on.  It is a severe chemical imbalance in the brain that makes thoughts like "My son/daughter/family/friends would be better off without me" seem completely rational.  It also makes the thought of living a life drained of all hope unbearable.  It is a waking death.

If this is true of Heath, my heart hurts so much to think of how he must have been feeling in the end, because I know.  It isn't any less tragic than if it was indeed an accidental overdose, because in both cases, it was preventable.
No more beans!

Offline jstephens9

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Re: Heath Ledger - the grieving thread
« Reply #314 on: January 23, 2008, 01:26:15 pm »
To say that this is not affecting me very strongly would be telling an incredibly large lie. I actually overslept this morning which is the first time I have done that in years. I woke up after 8am which is 3 hours later than I am supposed to get up at 5am. And it was a miracle that I woke up then cause I felt so tired. I am not even a late sleeper and I always wake up before 8 even when I am off work and even when I have stayed up until the wee hours of the morning. I didn't think about Heath's passing at first. I was so busy trying to get to work at least only 2 hours late. I know I was thinking about why I felt so bad and then it dawned on me that this had not been a nightmare. That was reinforced when the radio informed me that the cause of Heath Ledger's death had still not been confirmed.

So I am at work performing my usual duties, but all the while realizing that I have lost someone who was very important to me. There is no doubt a void within me. And I realize that absolutely nobody here where I work with is affected in the least by Heath's passing. If they even know I would be surprised. I might even be surprised if they knew who he was. If so the biggest thing they might say is that it is a shame for someone to die so young. I'm sure I could get them to know he was if I said he was one of the gay cowboys. The sad thing is that would make them care even less about Heath's passing. Britney's latest driving attempt or her forgotten panties would be a bigger news event to them.

So yeah I am alone with all these thoughts and feelings, but I do know that all of you are out there feeling the same way as I feel. That helps. That helps VERY much.

Offline Penthesilea

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Re: Heath Ledger - the grieving thread
« Reply #315 on: January 23, 2008, 01:42:59 pm »
{{{Jack}}}

My dear friend. I'm so in the same place you are. Nobody around me cares. They would think I'm silly if they knew how much I care.
My husband and Kerstin were being nice to me because they both know part of it. They're both shaking their heads in disbelieve; they care too. But yet, even they don't know all of it.
I'm so grateful for our community.

Offline Penthesilea

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Re: Heath Ledger - the grieving thread
« Reply #316 on: January 23, 2008, 01:45:13 pm »
{{{Mel}}} and {{{Barb}}}

What Katherine said: the only non-awful thing is you being here. And all other Brokies.

Offline Ellemeno

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Re: Heath Ledger - the grieving thread
« Reply #317 on: January 23, 2008, 01:50:56 pm »
Oh no, is it still true.  :(

Lynne came over last night, which was wonderful.  And we talked and caught up, then had about 4 oz. of whiskey on shares in my little metal blue-speckled enamelware cups, and some Coffee Heath Bar Crunch ice cream, while we companionably joined chat here on our respective laptops.

It was great and natural having her.  Until the time I had the thought, dang, it will always be true that the first time Lynne came to my house was for this.  :(

Online serious crayons

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Re: Heath Ledger - the grieving thread
« Reply #318 on: January 23, 2008, 01:53:41 pm »
Hey {{{Barb}}}.

 :'(


Offline nakymaton

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Re: Heath Ledger - the grieving thread
« Reply #319 on: January 23, 2008, 01:59:14 pm »
I just realized that I'm wearing BBM grieving clothes: a black camisole hidden (always hidden) beneath a blue sweater and tan pants.

I know that Heath was his own person, but I don't know that person... so my grief is tied with the character he played.

(((((Chrissie and Katherine)))))
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