TERRY CLOTH is grateful that JBB is gently awakening him from a nightmare in which the COYOTE and LOW STARTLE-POINT HORSE are playing tug-o'-cloth with him and he is drenched in sheep pee, not the kind of Dream Sequence he prefers. TERRY CLOTH savors the moment of their dozy embrace, which will get crusty in his loops solidify in his weft as the single moment of chafeless, goobly happiness in their separate and difficult display racks at the PenteCostCo. ))
((Having made a partial recovery from the IN-GENIUS COYOTE's reckless pawing of his shiny Cowboy Magic-ness, JBB reverts momentarily to the grumbling arse-buffer we know and love...))
%% Idgit flea-bitten bog-brush... WATCH WHERE YER GOIN'!!! Next time I'm gonna make sure I get script approval. If it ain't sheep shit, it's goddamn sheep hooves, an' if it ain't that it's cantankerous old nags, maraudin' mules, or strung-out giant psycho-harridans from hell, an' if it ain't all that it's amorous sheepherders with no soap or sense of personal space... Goddammit, pull yerself together JBB, you got important news to impart to yer stud-muffin here.%%((JBB shifts his position slightly to look up into the glorious folds of TERRY's fluffy phizog. He notices what he thinks are the early signs of... wrinkles? Which brings us rather neatly to a commercial break...))
=Camera1: Close-up of JBB with background soundtrack ('More Than a Peeling' by Boston).=
((Soundtrack fades slowly as JBB turns on a mega-watt smile and says simply...))
**Jack's Body Butter... the mark of a man.** (And at ten times normal speed)
**Items sold separately. Terms and conditions apply. Please see in store for details.**((JBB brings his ridge down to caress TERRY's rugged 100% cotton flanelette contours. He doesn't know how to say this, but say it he must.))
** Bud, there's sumthin' I bin meanin' to tell ya. I know I've had a whole week ta say some small thing 'bout this but, truth is, I bin hopin' this weren't no one-shot deal we got goin' on here. An' if it ain't then there's sumthin' ya need ta know... ma name ain't JBB, it's... TARQUELLE**((JBB waits for the raucous laughter he always hears and now anticipates at the mention of the, quite frankly, preposterous moniker he has laboured under these long years. It doesn't come, and JBB is moved almost to tears.))
** Ma Grampy wasn't no understudy ta Sir Laurence Olivier's arse cream. He wuz in the skin elixir business... made serious money... big pots... $100,000 tubs 'n' shit. Ma Daddy sold it ta that L'Oreal fer a small fortune. He ain't never liked me... I was lid-clipped ya see, an' he wasn't... weren't no way ta make it right with him after that. You bet he'd give me something ta get lost. Think about it Terry. Wouldn't never have ta work at the PenteCostCo again. We cud have ourselves a little tube an' tester operation... be a sweet life.**TERRY CLOTH:
**But why me Bud? Why would ya give up all a that L'Oreal inheritance fer me?**JBB:
**Because you're worth it...**
Topic: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%% (Read 1964068 times)