Author Topic: THE PERFORMANCE THREAD aside ((action)) %%thought%% (Read 1964882 times)

Pipedream · « **Reply #2610 on:** September 20, 2006, 03:01:38 pm »

((A little laster on the pasture...))

saucycobblers · « **Reply #2611 on:** September 20, 2006, 05:52:31 pm »

Quote from: Pipedream on September 19, 2006, 05:36:22 pm

** High there, Terry Cloth! Ummm... I think I can enlighten you some on the mistakes our lil' Butt Lotion mentioned above. I just happened to attend a business meeting in London with him, and let me tell you just this much: during the short time it lasted, your beloved JBB had an affair with a mop in our hotel, got hot and heavy with the Towel of London and made out with a Jet Rag on our way home. Rather tacky, ain't it? Oh well, just thought I oughta tell ya... **

((From the BAM Gift Shop, by the power of teloopathy...))

JBB:

%% Lies!! All lies!!! You fowl temptress Owl Olivia... don't think for one minute... OH...%%

((JBB's memory dimly recalls a furtive fumble in the broom cupboard of a far-away land.))

%% I'd forgotten about the mop. That fowl owl may have a point. Damn that Sheep Pee whiskey!!%% *blushes*

alec716 · « **Reply #2612 on:** September 20, 2006, 10:53:29 pm »

Quote from: nakymaton on September 20, 2006, 02:39:54 pm

BULL:

I hear Jack Twist has been ridin more than bulls. I want an explanation, and I want it NOW.

Meanwhile, back at the White House ...

(( Having averted a domestic crisis because a woman thought to utilize a commonly available commerical service as would have be-hoove-d MONICA LEWINSKY,

U.S. PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH rustles himself a bull to ride. Seems like everyone else is doing it!

))

nakymaton · « **Reply #2613 on:** September 20, 2006, 11:05:18 pm »

BULL:

**Look, I may be a Texan, but I didn't vote for him either, all right? I'm a lifelong DeMOOcrat.**

((The BULL keeps crashing through curio shops and souvenir shops until he finally finds Jack staring at a bunch of postcards.))

Hey, bud, I've got a message for you from Wyoming. Someone who thinks you've got a nice tail says some cows want you for some kinda calf operation. They said there may be a paternity suit involved or somethin.

Didn't think you owned a suit, but that's what they're sayin.

Daniel · « **Reply #2614 on:** September 21, 2006, 12:28:58 am »

YOUNG JACK:

((puts down the postcards.))

**Huh? Wyomin' you say? A paternity suit? For calves?**

((Jack blinks for a moment, saying nothing, is a little irritated by the peacock feather drooping into his face.))

**I ain't touchin' that with a ten foot pole. They got the wrong fella.**

ANGRY SOUVENIR STORE OWNER:

** Excuse me sir, does this BULL belong to you?**

YOUNG JACK:

** Nah, I only bested him once. He's still wild.**

((Jack leans down and whispers to the bull.))

** I'd get off those antidepressants if I were you. Ya don't need em that much.**

Daniel · « **Reply #2615 on:** September 21, 2006, 01:13:25 am »

Quote from: Lucise on September 20, 2006, 03:57:28 am

LUCISE I:

** I don't know about you .. but I've had enough pizza ..

It sure seems like pretty much everyone on the BAM set has heard about the wedding ..
I am so happy I could just .. explode ..
Well .. not yet anyway .. **

%% That's it .. I officially sound like a spokesperson for 'Sheep herders gone berserk!' .... %%

((Lucise takes Guy's hand in his and rises ..))

** Shall we ...? **

GUY RAPHAELSON:

((Mentally sobered by Lucise bringing up the subject of the wedding again, Guy turns to him with a serious expression.))

**Lucise.... wait, please... we need to talk about the wedding some more... about what it means to you for us to be married. I still am confused.**

((Guy gently pulls on Lucise's hand until he's sitting down on the couch again, nestling his body against Lucise's with his head against his shoulder.))

**Can we talk about that a little bit....?**

Lumière · « **Reply #2616 on:** September 21, 2006, 01:26:27 am »

LUCISE I.:

((Suddenly beaming with excitement about the wedding, Lucise's mind is temporarily drawn from his earlier thoughts ..))

** Okay .. I feel very much at peace about this decision to get married! It seems so right somehow .. just us ..you and me .. starting a life together...all thanks to Director Raymille's movie here .. bringing us together on Broken Arsed ..

Um .. You're not having second thoughts are ya? **

Daniel · « **Reply #2617 on:** September 21, 2006, 01:32:52 am »

GUY RAPHAELSON:

**No, no. It isn't that...** ((Guy hesitates for a moment.)) ** I think I want to marry you too.. I just need to know what it is we're getting into. What will this mean for us 5, 6 years down the line....? 10? 20? Will we still be together... because I don't think I could stand it if you grew tired of me somewhere along the way, or if my little problems suddenly become your big problems, or if my life crumbles away and you have to take care of me. I don't want any of that to happen... but it could.**

((Guy's voice is caught in his throat as tears rise to his eyes.))

**I don't want to be anyone's burden. I never have. But I can barely take care of myself. Every day I come across something I'm dreadfully afraid of. Every day, something else cracks inside me. I'm not getting better, Lucise. I'm getting worse.**

((Guy tries to bury himself in Lucise, visibly weeping now.))

**How can I ask anyone to put up with me when I can barely put up with myself...?**

Lumière · « **Reply #2618 on:** September 21, 2006, 01:57:33 am »

LUCISE I.:

((Lucise is slightly taken aback by Guy's breakdown .. tries to console him ))

** Umm..Guy, please don't cry .. **

((Lucise is busy drying Guy's tears when his phone rings ..))

** I better get that .. I'll be right back..**

((Lucise picks up his phone in a hurry ..))

** Hello ...? Mom!...Hi! **

%% Sh!t %%

Daniel · « **Reply #2619 on:** September 21, 2006, 02:05:45 am »

GUY RAPHAELSON:

((As Lucise answers his phone, Guy tries to quiet down, wiping the tears leaking from his eyes off his face and sniffling slightly to make the itch in his nose go away.))

News: