Hello everybody,
I’ve been a member for a couple of days now, and spent most of that time trawling through some of the thousands of threads here, so I think I’m going to be here for sometime to come.
So with that in mind I think I should introduce myself and tell you a bit about myself and how I arrived here:
My name is Chris, I’m gay and live in Plymouth UK, I’ve lived here almost 20 years, moving from Reading with my first true love. This relationship was very intense, fired by passion, but unfortunately short lived, lasting only 3 years. Within one year of moving to Plymouth we parted company, I was so hurt at the time. They say time is a healer and to some extent it was, we both got on with our separate lives and occasionally our paths would cross, maybe once or twice a year and catch-up on “old times”.
It was almost 13 years ago I met my second true love, I considered myself lucky finding somebody I utterly adored. Initially we lived apart (over an hours drive away) for 6 months but wrote to each other almost on a daily basis. Then, quite unexpectedly, over the next 12 years, our relationship developed into deep meaningful richness, that I have never experienced before. It was almost as though we could read each others minds, even when apart. This was all to change in Jan 2008, out of the blue, he wanted to leave me, he’d found somebody else. I was gutted. My life was effectively over.
Since then I have been coming to terms with my loss, and getting used to the lonely nights in. I know that we will not get back together again, but I do miss him terribly, with so many material object that surround me just remind me of him.
Well, it was one of those lonely nights, about 3 weeks ago, I was looking for a film to watch on DVD and happened across BBM, it was a present from a friend to my ‘now ex’ sometime ago but he had never wanted to watch it, (mind you, he didn’t want to see it at the cinema either) so I sat and watched it. OMG I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since, I’ve watched it every week now. There are so many instances I can relate too, I’ve never seen a film like it that has had such a prolific effect on me, it makes me sad, happy and heavy hearted all at the same time. I’ve even been to the local library too, they have the original AP Brokeback Mountain novel and I’ve read this 3 times as well. And to top it all, today I’ve been online and bought my own copy. I’m just totally consumed.......is this normal?
I hope that is not too much of a rant on my first introduction, but I felt that I needed to give you some of my background leading to the inspiration BBM has given me.
On a slightly brighter note, in recent months, I have been catching up with ‘my first love’ again, to my surprise there is still that spark......faint but still there. Most probably nothing will come of it though, not sure if I want it too.
Chris