Kerry's Komedy Klub

[CellarDweller]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Zander]

The sharing of marriage...

The old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'

She answered





 
 



'THE TEETH.'

[Katie77]

 

Love it Zander.......more more more

[Zander]

This is hilarious - no wonder some people were offended! This is the message that the Maroochydore High School Queensland , staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine . This is the actual answering machine message for the school. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes.
 
The outgoing message:
 
Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:
 
To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
 
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work - Press 2
 
To complain about what we do - Press 3
 
To swear at staff members - Press 4
 
To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and
   several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
 
If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
 
If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7
 
To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8
 
To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
 
To complain about school lunches - Press 0
 
If you realize this is the real world and your child must be Accountable and responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!
 
If you want this in another language, move to a country that speaks it.

[Katie77]

Very interesting Zander......Maroochydore is only about an hours drive from where I live in Queensland, Australia.

I had not heard about this, but it is very humourous.

[Zander]

It's a global village now, we here things about our towns from people halfway across the world.