Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Katie77]

A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river.

He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.

The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, 'Are you ready to find Jesus?'


The drunk shouts, 'Yes, oi am.'

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.

He pulls him up and asks the drunk, 'Brother have you found Jesus?'

The drunk replies, 'No, oi haven't found Jesus.'

The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer.

He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, 'Have you found Jesus me brother?'

The drunk again answers, 'No,oi I haven't found Jesus..'

By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds

and then he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.

The preacher again asks the drunk,'For the love of God have you found Jesus?'

(Are you ready for this?)








The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher,

'Are you sure dis is where he fell in?

 

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Katie77]

A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Auckland Airport .
 
The pilot comes on the intercom, 'This is your Captain.
We're on our final descent into
Auckland . I want to thank you for flying with us today and 
Hope you enjoy your
Stay in the Auckland area'.
 
He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane
Can hear his conversation from the cockpit.

The co-pilot can be heard saying to the pilot,

'So, Skip, whatcha got planned while we're in Auckland?' 

'Well,' says the skipper, 'first  I'm gonna  check into the hotel,
Take a big crap....then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner.... I'm gonna wine and  dine her,
Take her back to my
Room and give her a ride on the baloney pony all night long.'

Aghast and amused, everyone on the plane hears this and
Immediately begins looking up
And down the aisle, trying to figure out who this new  stewardess is that the pilot's talking about.

Meanwhile, the new stewardess is seated at the very back of  the plane.

She is so embarrassed that she starts running toward the
Cockpit to turn the intercom off.

Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's  bag and down she goes.

The old lady leans over and says: 'No need to hurry, dear.

He's gotta land the plane and take a shit first.'
 
 
 


 

[Katie77]

[Katie77]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]