Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Katie77]

 These classified ads were really put in the paper 

 FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old.  Hateful little bastard.  Bites!
 
FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.
 
FREE PUPPIES.
Mother, A Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog . . Able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
 
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat. Been out a while.
Better be a big reward.
 
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.
 
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.
 
WEDDING DRESS FOR  SALE .
Worn once by mistake.  Call Stephanie.
 
And the best one:
 
FOR  SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.  Excellent condition.  £200 or best offer.  No longer needed, Got married last month.  Wife knows f *****g everything.

 
 

 

[Kerry]

FOR  SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.  Excellent condition.  £200 or best offer.  No longer needed, Got married last month.  Wife knows f *****g everything.

Hmm, I think I work with her.        

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Katie77]

[Katie77]

THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT
 

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who
seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and
told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be
landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could
just put your trays up, that would be super.'

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather
Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle.
'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked
you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the
ground.'

She calmly turned her head and said,
'In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.'

To which the flight attendant replied , without missing a beat,

'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.
'Tray up, Bitch'