~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[Front-Ranger]

ALMA:

**Am I ever glad, for the first time ever, that I invited my dad Vinnie to the weddin, even tho he walked out on me when I was just a toddler, and moved to New Jersey**

Hey, Dad, will U plz ditch that Timmy guy pronto, so's we can get on with the weddin photography pleaz!!

[alec716]

BRIEF FLASHBACK SEQUENCE:




(( The subconscious realization that he may never see his beloved JBB again falls like a hot steam iron upon TERRY CLOTH.  At first, he thought the feeling was from a bad spin cycle at that laundromat in Dubois.  Then, within a mile TERRY CLOTH felt like someone was pulling his weft out hand over hand a yard at a time.  He stopped at the side of the road, leaned out of Ennis' bluejeans pocket from which he had displaced that upstart GLOVE with the kind and timely assistance of the Union Steward, and, in the whirling new detergent flakes, tried to puke but nothing came up.  He felt about as bad as he ever had and it took a long time for the static cling to wear off.  ))

[Meryl]

(( TERRY CLOTH gasps very loudly for one with no actual mouth, astonished to see the HIGHLY CRACKED UP PRIESTESS sans regalia.  ))

** TERRY, thank you for the innocent compliment!  It is my fervent hope that the transformation required of me for my assumption of the role of TIMMY will be an inspiration to my fellow performers.  Only complete immersion will do.  We all have many backsides faces, and it is incumbent on those of us who take on multiple roles to enter into them with every ounce of talent that we possess.  There is no room for vanity here.  Art is everything!

I encourage you to do the same, now that your duties as Warshrag are lighter.  Surely there is a role you can 'cotton' to, one that can be 'tailored' to your formidable abilities, one that is 'fabric-ated' with you in mind.  Be bold!  You're too young to be hung out to dry. **   

[Lumière]

ALMA:

**Am I ever glad, for the first time ever, that I invited my dad Vinnie to the weddin, even tho he walked out on me when I was just a toddler, and moved to New Jersey**

Hey, Dad, will U plz ditch that Timmy guy pronto, so's we can get on with the weddin photography pleaz!!

(( An audience member kindly lends TIMMY a t-shirt to cover his .. well, 




About time!  There ain't no full moon this time of the month Timmy ..  ...))

[Meryl]

(( An audience member kindly lends TIMMY a t-shirt to cover his .. well, 




About time!  There ain't no full moon this time of the month Timmy ..  ...))

%% Alas, not everyone is able to bear the searing truth of an in-depth characterization.  Perhaps in time.... %%

[Daniel]

GUY RAPHAELSON:

((After a long day at work, Guy somehow manages to make his way back to Lucise's trailer. He looks up at the black skies. More snow? He hopes so. He doesn't quite relish getting up again the next morning to go off after mules, owls, or try to get Lureen's lovely photograph for her Ice Cream flavor carton. He climbs the few steps to Lucise's trailer and knocks on the door...))

**Lucise?! It's Guy.**

[alec716]

** TERRY, thank you for the innocent compliment!  It is my fervent hope that the transformation required of me for my assumption of the role of TIMMY will be an inspiration to my fellow performers.  Only complete immersion will do.

((  Faint sounds arise from the darkened Sacred Relics Trailer.  No, they are not those of the TWO BLOODY SHIRTS lustily going at it again, although they are, but silently this time.  It is not the TACKY BLONDE WIG OF THE EARLY EIGHTIES teasing the TACKY BLONDE WIG OF THE LATE SEVENTIES to new heights of laughter.  It is not even the hacking cough of the HACKED-UP TURKEY CARCASSES.  It is the spiritual devotion of TERRY CLOTH as he offers up a prayer a thanks that the AUDIENCE MEMBER offered up a tank-top rather than a warshrag to the HIGHLY NOT TIM-ID PRIESTESS.  TERRY CLOTH is all too aware that, but for a twist of dernier on this warped Thread, he could have been completely immersed in the crack of the HIGHLY ASS-UMING PRIESTESS.    CASSIE'S TUBE TOP is also grateful that she was not called upon to shoulder the burden of covering TIMMY's charming and unique vertical smile.  ))

[opinionista]

((  Faint sounds arise from the darkened Sacred Relics Trailer.  No, they are not those of the TWO BLOODY SHIRTS lustily going at it again, although they are, but silently this time.  It is not the TACKY BLONDE WIG OF THE EARLY EIGHTIES teasing the TACKY BLONDE WIG OF THE LATE SEVENTIES to new heights of laughter.  It is not even the hacking cough of the HACKED-UP TURKEY CARCASSES.  It is the spiritual devotion of TERRY CLOTH as he offers up a prayer a thanks that the AUDIENCE MEMBER offered up a tank-top rather than a warshrag to the HIGHLY NOT TIM-ID PRIESTESS.  TERRY CLOTH is all too aware that, but for a twist of dernier on this warped Thread, he could have been completely immersed in the crack of the HIGHLY ASS-UMING PRIESTESS.    CASSIE'S TUBE TOP is also grateful that she was not called upon to shoulder the burden of covering TIMMY's charming and unique vertical smile.  ))

((While everyone was sleeping, Bob the janitor who has been cleaning the stage, the teather etc., has gone into the trailer to continue cleaning and sees Terry Cloth. Confusing it with another warshrag, took it with him. Then goes to the basement, and tosses Terry into a warshing machine, along with the tents, Jack and Ennis's clothes, as well as their dirty and smelly undies.




Bobs adds some:




And then some:



Terry Clothe is now in the warshing machine, where nobody can find it. ))

 

[Pipedream]

((Just as Alma is about to enter the church, she hears a little hoot from a tree nearby. Out of curiosity, Owl Olivia has taken a day off and made it down the mountain to watch the wedding. She addresses the young and clueless bride...))   

Okay, girl. Since you seem to be thinking this Ennis guy is the right man for you, let me tell ya something from owl to woman.
I might not have managed to d-rag the dude who fathered my son in front of an altar, but I think I can give you some precious advice anyway.

Rule 1: Should you have kids, make sure he supports them. I, for example, have never gotten any filthy lint from my rag-anova. He just used me as a one-night-owl and then left me with lil’ Olli before I could even hoot. By the way, Olli was the cutest lil’ egg you have ever seen!
 
Rule 2: Git yerself a job! It can never be a bad thing to have a little extra money for some smokes and red wine to carry you through all those lonely weekends in the years to come… Not that I wish you too many of them.

Rule 3: Nothing is forever, so watch out for other possible marrying candidates in time (i.e. as long as you look half-way presentable). Some nice dresses and another hairdo might be in order here.

Well, and now my girl, I wish you a nice wedding and a good life with your cowboy (as long as it may last). Make the best out of it!

Yours

Owl Olivia


%% Poor thing. If she knew what I know about her Ennis... %% 

[alec716]

Out of curiosity, Owl Olivia has taken a day off and made it down the mountain to watch the wedding. She addresses the young and clueless bride...))   

Rule 1: Should you have kids, make sure he supports them. I, for example, have never gotten any filthy lint from my rag-anova. He just used me as a one-night-owl and then left me with lil’ Olli before I could even hoot. By the way, Olli was the cutest lil’ egg you have ever seen!

(( TERRY CLOTH feels his head spinning and realizes that in fact all of him is spinning in the d*mn warshing machine.  TERRY CLOTH is therefore now able to puke, and not just because of missing JBB or his own so-called sense of humor or the long ties of CASSIE'S FUNKY WEDGE SANDALS wrapped around his midsection in the rinse cycle.  TERRY CLOTH sends a big Shout-out of thanks to Bob the Janitor for facilitating resolution of those purgent and queasy feelings.  Still feeling a little fuzzy-headed from the laundering, TERRY CLOTH finds OWLMA in the tree outside the church... ))


TERRY CLOTH:

**  Hey, OWLMA, down here!  It's me!  Look, I know you might not be too fond a me at the moment, but I really have cleaned up my act and I want to make an honest owl out a you.  I learned a lot up there on that Mountain, and I don't want OWLMA JR. to grow up all lonely like I was raised.  So I guess what I'm sayin' is ... will you marry me?  It would be a hoot!  **