~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[nakymaton]

The BULL:

((Meanwhile, the bull has mostly recovered from his encounter with Michael Jackson and the Boy Scouts. Unfortunately, it took significant quantities of prescription and over-the-counter medications, which left the bull with the tendency to fall aslee..........))

ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

((...at the drop of a hat.))

((So Sleepy the Bull is now currently snoozing in the waiting pen, in preparation for the next bull ride.))

[Mikaela]

MONROE:

Ma'am, if my heart were free, be assured I'd take you up on your loony generous, frightening alluring and indecent classy demand offer.

As it is, I'm saving my sausage. My sausage is completely spoken for.

Anyway, you probably do know sausages are unhealthy, don't you? Hot dogs, wieners, salami........ very unhealthy. Ruins your looks. You look like you care for preserving your exterior. Certainly your plastic surgeon does. Hasn't he ordered you strictly off all types of sausages?


** Help me, I'm blathering like a fool, but what else can I do? The way she's staring at me hungrily, you'd think I was a Lobster Thermidor to be devoured! Once I stop blathering she'll probably just knock me over the head with those knockers and drag me off! **

((Stares desperately up and down the empty road, hoping against hope for a couple of bikers or some fighting-spirit cowboy to appear to the rescue))

%% Heeeeeelp!! %%

[nakymaton]

BIKER #2:

((Unfortunately, Biker #2's knock to the head caused a personal transformation, and Biker #2 has checked into a meditation center to attempt to become one with the universe.))

[nakymaton]

SNOW:

((As CHER continues trying to seduce MONROE, the sky begins to darken, the temperature begins to drop, and big, cold, wet flakes of snow begin to fall onto CHER's ample cleavage.))

[alec716]

MONROE:

** Help me, I'm blathering like a fool, but what else can I do? The way she's staring at me hungrily, you'd think I was a Lobster Thermidor to be devoured! Once I stop blathering she'll probably just knock me over the head with those knockers and drag me off! **

((Stares desperately up and down the empty road, hoping against hope for a couple of bikers or some fighting-spirit cowboy to appear to the rescue))

%% Heeeeeelp!! %%

(( CHER thinks, apparently mistakenly, that MONROE is staring desperately up and down her full length.  She lays down upon the SNOW and her hopes rise.  CHER hopes her hopes are not all that rise today.     ))




CHER:

C'mon, MONROE, it's getting cold, and I'll make you see fireworks!  



(or at least a tacky headress!)

[Mikaela]

MONROE:


((Prays for an avalanche))

**Today, If you please! Right now! The day after tomorrow is not an option here!! **

((The cold sets MONROE to shivering, in fact his teeth are soon chattering uncontrollably))

** I've got to quit this hammering! She'll mistake it for big-time passion! Eeeeep!!  **

[welliwont]

MONROE:

((Prays for an avalanche))

**Today, If you please! Right now! The day after tomorrow is not an option here!! **

/snip

CASTING DIRECTOR filling in for SCRIPT GIRL:

**pst!!  the line should read  "Day After Tomorrow" **

[alec716]

CASTING DIRECTOR filling in for SCRIPT GIRL:

**pst!!  the line should read  "Day After Tomorrow" **

(( CHER elbows upstart SCRIPT GIRL out of her way and into a snowbank and out of MONROE's line of sight.  CHER does not suffer compeition well.     ))

MONROE:

Ma'am, if my heart were free, be assured I'd take you up on your loony generous, frightening alluring and indecent classy demand offer.

CHER:

&&  Hmmm, his heart may not be free but he sure could charge by the pound for that sausage!  And that sexy way his teeth chatter is driving me wild.  I think he's losing control.  &&

It's cold up here, MONROE



and this fur is NOT keeping me warm.



We're all alone up here, and I found this little tent over here... it looks right ...

.

I got all myself dolled up for you

,

and all alone on a snow-covered mountaintop is nowhere for a little CHASTITY.



So gimme your bulk section and let's go!

(( CHER urgently urges MONROE to be manly about his manly urges.  ))

[welliwont]

Emergency Casting Call:

Hello Performers, again we have a bit of a situation here, this time it is the BARTENDER for the Lureen scene who has just now informed me that:

>>Sorry, but I'm not able to take on my roles.<<   

Of course he had a whole week to say some little word about this...  As our beloved Director Raymille would say, (if only he were here to say it), FARKEEN AC-TORS GIVE ME GAS!!  -- a course it sounds way more natural coming from him....   

Sooooo, if anyone would care to step up and do the single line for the BARTENDER, I am sure you will be duly recompensed in heaven, any BetterMostian who feels that they can ad-lib this part, please feel free.  Thank you.   

C&CD JT

PS:  Here are a coupla suggestions:

LINE:  Ah sure do!  Lureen Newsome.  Her dad sells farm equipment, I mean big farm equipment.  Hundred thousand tractors, shit like that.
  OR:  Sure do.  Laren Newsom.  Her dad sells farmer things, I mean big farmer.

[Mikaela]

MONROE:


((Watches in disbelieving horror as CHER moves in on him. No escape seems possible. She purrs into her ever-present microphone in victorious delight: ))

((Watches in even more disbelieving horror as CHER lifts her microphone triumphantly. No escape seems possible! ))

((Is completely stunned as a sub-zero suddenly tornado hits, sucking the temperature down to an impossible all-time low, piling up SNOW in record time, passing within inches of the stupefied  MONROE. Once the air clears, he realizes that CHER wasn't quite that lucky:    ))

**Uhm.......Huh?**