~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[Sashca1007]

JACK'S PANTS temporarily taking on the role of ENNIS'S PERKY-PRINT JAMMY BOTTOMS -

** Mm-m-m....I feel so much better now--  back where I belong, cradling my cowboy's magnificent backside and glorious frontside, along with his long, lean, hard-as-a rock muscled legs with their soft-as-a-baby-woolie skin (thanks, JBB  ) .  ALMA just took me off the clothesline today and I have that Big Wonderful Wyoming WIND scent permeating my 80-thread-count self.  There was no mistaking that look she gave me as she pressed me to her face for a deep sniff....   satisfaction that she had scrubbed me (viciously) hard enough to remove the traces of.... what she frequently found dried in patches on my thigh area.  ALMA had been both hurt and baffled by what she discovered her husband liked to do in the wee morning hours when he thought she was asleep.  One time she actually turned over and saw me pulled down a ways onto ENNIS'S thighs.  She got an eye-full all right, and an ear-full, too, although she couldn't make out what he was muttering as he neared completion of this special and private activity of his---   it sounded something like...  'Chack-fa Queen-Dwist??'  ALMA had tried desperately to decipher ENNIS'S words, sure they would be a clue in helping her find out if her husband was attracted to (or having an affair with) some other woman in Riverton.  He sure wasn't giving her the kind of loving a man should be giving his wife.  Now here's ALMA again...   trying to get ENNIS to drop me so she can work her little housewifely magic on him....  Newsflash, ALMA, he's going to flip you over like a hot griddlecake and give it to you like a love-starved sheepherder whether you like it or not.  **

%% Ha!  That old RAG-a-muffin ain't got nothin' on me...  that smart-alec-y WARSHRAG struttin' around with all his rag-hags admirers in tow...  thinks he's all that because he gets to warsh the man's goobly-bits once in a while.  Sorry, Bud, but I got ya beat....  I get to stay wrapped around all those heavenly parts all night long...   and some 'o those nights I get to soak up some VERY special offerings from our love-sick cowboy. I am one lucky pair of JAMMY PANTS.  *dee-e-ep sigh...*  %%   

[Meryl]

%% Oh yeah.....definitely have missed the sizzlin' stream-of-consciousness of the Pants.... %%   

[Sashca1007]

Ahh, Meryl, lassie, ye warm the cockles of me fly!   

PANTS

[Ellemeno]

I am one lucky pair of JAMMY PANTS.  *dee-e-ep sigh...*  %%   

** And we are one luck-eeee audience, O Perky Prince Jammy Bottoms.  And I must say, you do sound like you get your special share o' Jam. **

[Daniel]

GUY RAPHAELSON:

**Speaking of garments, we need to launch our Broken Arsed denim line before the end of August, but we hadn't really thought of pajama bottoms as a fastfire merchandise product, so we're reconsidering that one. I think it would make a great holiday sale item.**

((Guy looks at his watch and realizes how late it is, again. Making sure that no one else needs him for anything he heads back out to the waiting helicopter, where the pilot has fallen asleep. Guy bangs on the door to wake her up and they are soon airborne again.))

((A few moments later, Guy is knocking on Lucise's trailer door again.))

[Front-Ranger]

((Alma is in the bathroom--STILL!))

**Yes, I know what I look like in my flannel nightgown, but I'm sure when my man looks at me, he sees this!!**

[Front-Ranger]

((ALMA is in communion with Mother Mary, kneeling in the bathroom with arms raised in prayer))

**Dear Mother Mary, please hear the prayer of your lowly servant, a mother and wife of... a man, a good man, but
...**
((she is taken over by tears))

**to tell you the truth, I am married to a ... a ... a back-door man!!

Dear Mary, bring me strength!! **

[Front-Ranger]

ALMA: **Okay, if Jack's Body Butter is going to foresake me.... I'll just use the next best thing available!! Somebody said, Necessity is the mother of invention, and I am the mother of the mother of invention, so here goes!! ((She pulls out of the cabinet, a jar of Vick's Vaporub!!))

**VVR, my new best friend!!** ~~Vick's is the medicine of choice for asthmatic children like Jenny.~~

[Front-Ranger]

ALMA: **You know, if I am going to go through this, week after week, I might as well get something out of it...I know!! I will get Ennis to agree to us moving to town! No more of these lonesome ranch houses, where my only friend is Terry Cloth! I will get him to make a commitment tonite!!!**

((Determinedly, she exits the bathroom, and goes into the bedroom, where Ennis is sitting in his perky jammies))

Hi, hun! Are the girls asleep??

[DeeDee]

YOUNG ENNIS:

(( Ennis feels Alma crawl on the bed, the same time his skin is crawling with her touch.  He closes his eyes and imagines it's Jack's strong arms circling his body and blowing in his ear..and he starts to grin until he hears her voice.))

Yep, both girls are asleep, sumpthin' we should be doin' right about now.

(( He feels her breath getting hotter and knows sleep is not on her mind right now.))