~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[alec716]

(( TERRY CLOTH is humbled to view the arrival of a true star, someone higher than the Highest Priestess, right here on the B.A.M. set... DORIS has finally learned the whereabouts of her beloved JAMMY PANTS and has come back to claim him toDAY...

  ))


DORIS:

Now, Mr. ENNIS, I don't know who you are or how you got into my JAMMY PANTS, but you'd better give him back and I ain't jokin...



And my boys here will help me make my point...

[Daniel]

GUY RAPHAELSON:

**Now hold on here, Miss Day. We might be able to work something out about these Jammy Pants as you call them. We're in the process of making a film here and then on to marketing these fashionable high-waisted cotton/polyester blend Jammy Pants in the holiday season. Perhaps we might be able to borrow them for a bit longer? I'm certain we can work something out.**

((Guy whips out the corporate Un Ltd checkbook.))

[opinionista]

%%.......uuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmm.............is it just me, or is anyone else starting to feel a little Michael Jackson about proceedings here?  Just me?  oh okay!%%

((Michael Jackson, who to everyone's surprise has been on the audience all this time, is very offended by Ray's comment. He rises from his seat, proudly showing everyone  his new looks. The audience can't believe their eyes))

Michael Jackson {in his usual whispery, girlish voice}: (clears thoat). Excuse me. ((waves a hand)). May I speak to Mr. Guy Raphaelson please? That cute guy who is in charge of this play. I'd like to know what this Mr. Ray somebody exactly means by saying that he feels a little Michael Jackson. He hurt my feelings.



Note from the poster: I did not do this on photoshop, just found it in a google search.

[Daniel]

((Michael Jackson, who to everyone's surprise has been on the audience all this time, is very offended by Ray's comment. He rises from his seat, proudly showing everyone  his new looks. The audience can't believe their eyes))

Michael Jackson {in his usual his whispery, girlish voice}: (clears thoat). Excuse me. ((waves a hand)). May I speak to Mr. Guy Raphaelson please? That cute guy who is in charge of this play. I'd like to know what this Mr. Ray somebody exactly means by saying that he feels a little Michael Jackson. He hurt my feelings.



Note from the poster: I did not do this on photoshop, just found it in a google search. If anyone is offended, please let me know via pm, and I'll change the pic.

GUY RAPHAELSON:

**Ah yes,.... Miss?.... Jackson. I believe Director Raymille was referring to the brilliance of your musical career and creativity and how blessed he felt that our little production here is beginning to shine with the same luster. I certainly do not believe that he meant any harm by his choice of words and you should not feel hurt or insulted in any way. Of course, it is up to Mr. Raymille to explain himself, but that is how I interpret his ramblings. OOC Productions is very reluctant to stand in the way of his creative vision, but if anything at all offensive was intended by Director Raymille, than I am certain that OOC Productions will take the necessary disciplinary measures..... We are honored that you're in our audience. Please enjoy the rest of the show.**

[alec716]

((Michael Jackson, who to everyone's surprise has been on the audience all this time, is very offended by Ray's comment. He rises from his seat, proudly showing everyone  his new looks. The audience can't believe their eyes))

Michael Jackson {in his usual his whispery, girlish voice}: (clears thoat). Excuse me. ((waves a hand)). May I speak to Mr. Guy Raphaelson please? That cute guy who is in charge of this play. I'd like to know what this Mr. Ray somebody exactly means by saying that he feels a little Michael Jackson. He hurt my feelings.

TERRY CLOTH:

** Is this what might be meant by a little Michael Jackson?

  **



** And here is a photo of Michael Jackson at The Pajama Game after-party, celebrating with cast and crew...

  **


MICHAEL JACKSON:

** Those are not my titties!  That's not me, it's Nefertiti!  **

(( MICHAEL JACKSON sobs audibly into his ample cleavage.  ))

[opinionista]

TERRY CLOTH:

** Is this what might be meant by a little Michael Jackson?

  **



** And here is a photo of Michael Jackson at The Pajama Game after-party, celebrating with cast and crew...

  **


MICHAEL JACKSON:

** Those are not my titties!  That's not me, it's Nefertiti!  **

(( MICHAEL JACKSON sobs audibly into his cleavage.  ))

((Michael Jackson can't believe what Terry Cloth just said, and is now very offended  ))

Michael Jackson in a whispery, girlish voice and pouting: That's it!  Mr. Raphaelson, I'll see you in court!


((Michael Jackson leaves the theater, moving his hips and shaking his boobs))

[alec716]

(( A very angry MICHAEL JACKSON, while keeping his lawyer abreast of this transvesty travesty, is deflated by this latest publicity malfunction. ))

[Daniel]

GUY RAPHAELSON:

((Guy frowns down at TERRY CLOTH))

**I know you're all excited about being offered the spokesperson position for the Broken Arsed Mountain linen products, but do you think we might avoid offending celebrity guests in the future?**

Daniel:

**Good lord, deflated? What a horrible pun.**

[alec716]

(( MICHAEL JACKSON remembers JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE just in time that more has escaped on this set than TERRY CLOTH from the Sacred Relics Room.  This sort of thing seems to run in his family.  ))




JANET JACKSON: (in a girlish, whispery voice not distinguishable from MICHAEL's):

** It's OK, MICHAEL, I felt like a complete turkey when the same thing happened to me.  C'mere, s'alright, s'alright...  **




((  And meanwhile, as the international media crisis heats up, a global wave of celebrity support comes in for MICHAEL JACKSON to help him Muppet mop it up and nip this problem in the bud.  ))

[Daniel]

**Similarities too uncanny to be faked, except that Janet has a much more supportive backup**