~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[alec716]

**Similarities too uncanny to be faked, except that Janet has a much more supportive backup**

** And a better supported front...    **

[Front-Ranger]

What??? That's my name, don't wear it out!! 

[southendmd]

**What have you done for me lately?**

**Front, don't let that turkey Terry get your bra in a knot**

[YaadPyar]

** Some time ago, all the cast and crew were given, as personal gifts from Director Raymille, special tokens of love direct from Australia.  Each person received a koala bear, and then a kangaroo was given as the set mascot. **

** Unfortunately, the koalas are not actually tame, and their more wild nature has emerged as they've matured.  The koala caretaker has captured some of their more disturbing activity on camera.  Director Raymille will be taking many of these koalas back home to Australia himself, as there is a rumor that it was his influence that corrupted their cute fuziness on his casting couch. **

** The set mascot kangaroo is being sent to Hollywood to audition for a part as an action-movie hero.  If he can overcome his Aussie accent, they think he has a real shot at stardom! **

[nakymaton]

BIKER #2:

** Nah, those nancy boys wouldn't last a minute on a hog! **

BIKER #1:

((Hides Spandex carefully beneath dirty t-shirt and lots of leather.)

**By the way, about that pussy on the hoof... is that some kinda weird experimental critter out a the university or somethin? Like some kind a cross between a mountain lion and a mountain goat or somethin?  Cause, I mean, last time I looked at a kitty, it had claws, not hooves...

And who knows what they'll do now that they set the jackalopes loose...
**

[alec716]

BIKER #1:

((Hides Spandex carefully beneath dirty t-shirt and lots of leather.)

**By the way, about that pussy on the hoof... is that some kinda weird experimental critter out a the university or somethin? Like some kind a cross between a mountain lion and a mountain goat or somethin? 

((  TERRY CLOTH cannot hear well, his ears being all caked with dried Vick's and Jammy lint an' all...  ))


TERRY CLOTH:

**  What'd he say about pussy under the hood?  Like this?  **





(( And after consulting with his lawyer, MICHAEL JACKSON begins tampering with the jury pool....  ))

[Meryl]

BIKER #1:

((Hides Spandex carefully beneath dirty t-shirt and lots of leather.)

**By the way, about that pussy on the hoof... is that some kinda weird experimental critter out a the university or somethin? Like some kind a cross between a mountain lion and a mountain goat or somethin?  Cause, I mean, last time I looked at a kitty, it had claws, not hooves...

And who knows what they'll do now that they set the jackalopes loose...**

BIKER #2:

** Damn, I can see you boys need a little coachin' in biker lingo!  See, we bikers tend to speak metaphorically.  (Don't spread this around, but most of us have college degrees.)  So when I refer to pussy on the hoof, I'm actually employin' a term for young human females, the silky coverin' of whose genitalia calls to mind the sleek coat of the common house feline, and joinin' it with a term for the horny coverin' that protects the toes of ungulate mammals that's simply meant to imply that said young females are out trottin' around, and thus available for ridin', which is in itself a veiled term for sexual intercourse.  I hope that clears it up for ya.

By the way, jackalopes make pretty good eatin' with a little pickapepper sauce and washed down with a cold one.  Not bad at all. **

[nakymaton]

BIKER #2:

** Damn, I can see you boys need a little coachin' in biker lingo!  See, we bikers tend to speak metaphorically.  (Don't spread this around, but most of us have college degrees.)  So when I refer to pussy on the hoof, I'm actually employin' a term for young human females, the silky coverin' of whose genitalia calls to mind the sleek coat of the common house feline, and joinin' it with a term for the horny coverin' that protects the toes of ungulate mammals that's simply meant to imply that said young females are out trottin' around, and thus available for ridin', which is in itself a veiled term for sexual intercourse.  I hope that clears it up for ya.

BIKER #2:

** Sheeeeee-it. Next thing you know you'll be telling me that "humped like a frog" don't mean to have bent one's back in an awkward, semi-amphibious pose.

And that "wrang it out" don't have nothin to do with laundry.**

[Ray]

((Michael Jackson, who to everyone's surprise has been on the audience all this time, is very offended by Ray's comment. He rises from his seat, proudly showing everyone  his new looks. The audience can't believe their eyes))

Michael Jackson {in his usual whispery, girlish voice}: (clears thoat). Excuse me. ((waves a hand)). May I speak to Mr. Guy Raphaelson please? That cute guy who is in charge of this play. I'd like to know what this Mr. Ray somebody exactly means by saying that he feels a little Michael Jackson. He hurt my feelings.

I feel your hurtings Ms Jackson.  Please let me explain that to "feel MJ" means to feel like singing.  The picture reminded me of a few of your songs; "Soldier's Entrance" and "Creep Inn", "Tubeway", "Secret Passage" & "Beat It" just to name a few.  I have always been a great admirer of your music, learning to moon dance at age 15! I felt that only you could create a dance which is about backing up while appearing to be thrusting forward! You have long been an idol of mine and I would die to know that I had offended you and made you cry, as I can imagine how painful it would be trying to squeeze tears down those spectacular nostrels.  I can't imagine why you would take offence!   Great tits by the way!

[opinionista]

I feel your hurtings Ms Jackson.  Please let me explain that to "feel MJ" means to feel like singing.  The picture reminded me of a few of your songs; "Soldier's Entrance" and "Creep Inn", "Tubeway", "Secret Passage" & "Beat It" just to name a few.  I have always been a great admirer of your music, learning to moon dance at age 15! I felt that only you could create a dance which is about backing up while appearing to be thrusting forward! You have long been an idol of mine and I would die to know that I had offended you and made you cry, as I can imagine how painful it would be trying to squeeze tears down those spectacular nostrels.  I can't imagine why you would take offence!   Great tits by the way!

((Michael Jackson has been hiding behind the back exit door  of the theatre all this time, so he heard Mr. Raymille's heartfelt apology. He peeks through the door, then comes in again, moving his hips, shaking his new boobs with a big grin on his face))

Michael Jackson in his girlish voice: All right Mr. Raymille, apology accepted. I love it that you like my new looks. Don't I look great? I just love myself. I'll stay to watch this wonderful play. Please, tell Mr. Raphaelson that I won't be suing him but that stinky Terry Cloth is not forgiven ( ). He has to learn to behave itself. If you want me to sing and dance on that beautiful stage of yours, you let me know. I'll love to do it.

((Michael Jackson goes back to his seat, shaking his boob some more, and sits down. Audience applauds. Michael Jackson rises, waves a hand, similing, and sits)).