Kerry's Komedy Klub

[dot-matrix]

The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they
are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered
in to see the apope.
Grumpy leads the pack.
"Grumpy, my son.' "What can I do for you?"

Grumpy asks, "Excuse me your Excellency, but are
there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks
for a moment and answers, "No Grumpy, there are no
dwarf nuns in Rome."

In the background, a fe of the dwarfs start giggling.
Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.
Grumpy turns back, "Your Worship, are there any
dwarf nuns in Europe ?"

The Pope, puzzled now, thinks for a moment and
then answers, "No Grumpy, there are no dwarf
nuns in Europe."
This time all the other dwarfs burst into laughter.
Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them.

Grumpy turns back and says, "Mr..Pope! Are there
ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?"
The Pope, really confused by the questions says, "I'm
sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in
the world."

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and
laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their
cheeks, as they began chanting . . . . . .

"Grumpy shagged a penguin. Grumpy shagged a penguin."

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[dot-matrix]

A Scotsman was having breakfast in Paris - coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam.

A Frenchman, chewing bubble gum, sat next to him and asked the Scot if he ate the crusts of his bread.

When the Scot answered he did, the Frenchman blew a bubble in his gum and smirkingly retorted 'In France we eat the centres and turn the crusts into croissants and sell them to Scotland'.

The Scot remained silent.

But the French guy persisted 'Do you eat the jam with your bread?', and getting the response 'Of course', continued 'In France, we only eat fresh fruit. We take the pips, seeds, peel and leftovers and make them into jam and sell it to Scotland'.

After a moment, the Scot asked his companion 'In France, do you have sex?', and after eliciting the astounded 'Of course!' asked 'And what do you do with the condoms after you use them?'. 'Throw them away naturally' was the reply.

The Scot smiled broadly 'In Scotland, we melt them down and turn them into chewing gum and sell it to France!'.

[dot-matrix]

A blond guy went to a world wide message centre to send a message to his mother overseas.

When told it would cost $300, he reached for his wallet, only to exclaim 'I forgot my money! But I'd do anything to get a message to my mother'.

'Anything?' the centre attendant asked.

'Yes, anything' was the reply.

'Just follow me' the attendant said, as he lead the blond guy to a small room.

'Close the door' - the blond guy did.

'Down on your knees' - and the blond guy complied.

'Pull down my zipper' - again the blond guy as he was told.

'Now take it out' - and the blond guy did.

The blond reached into the fly and grabbed it with both hands, brought his mouth closer to it, and while holding it closer to his lips, whispered:

'Hi Mum, can you hear me?'

[dot-matrix]

A man is recovering after surgery when a nurse asks him
how he is feeling.

"I'm OK, but I didn't like the four letter word the doctor used
just as I was dozing off after the anesthetic he says.

"What did he say?" the nurse asks.

" OOPS."

[dot-matrix]

A ninety year old man checked into a posh hotel to
celebrate his birthday. As a surprise, some friends
sent a call girl to his room.
When he answered the door , he saw before him a
beautiful young woman. "I have a present for you."
she said.
"Really ?" replied the bewildered gent.

"I'm here to give you super sex," she whispered.
"Thanks," he said thoughtfully, "I'll take the soup."

[dot-matrix]

Why if you mix water and flower, you get glue ?



 
Why when you add eggs and sugar, you get cake?
 

 


where did the glue go ??





Need an answer ??



 


You know darned well where the glue went....



 





That's what makes the cake stick to your BUTT !!!

[Katie77]

A drunk stumbles into a confessional booth, sits down and starts to doze off .
 
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk cotinues to sit there half-asleep.
 
Finally the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
 
The drunk speaks and says, "Aint no use knockin', dere ain't no paper on dis side either!!!.


                                                                                                             

[Kerry]