Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Kerry]

Where's the urinal with Christopher Meloni standing above it? That's the one I   want!   

[Katie77]

Do you ever wonder, what happens at night, after you have shut down your computer......

[Dagi]

 

[Katie77]

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales
representative for a large firm.

 

The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position and we're afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential
customers. I'm sorry....we can't hire you."

 

"But wait," he said. "If I take two aspirin, I'll stop winking!"

 

"Really? Great! Show me!"

 

So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavored condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking.

 

"Well," said the interviewer, "that's all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will not have our employees womanizing all over, the country!"

 

"Womanizing? What do you mean? I'm a happily married man!"

 

"Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?"

 

"Oh, that," he sighed. "Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?"*

 

[dot-matrix]

5 minute management course

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish.."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas
, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Puff! She's gone.
-
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii ,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
Puff! He's gone.
-
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
-
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

[dot-matrix]

Riverdance like you've never seen it 

[youtube=425,350]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=d2AN7kBQOsw[/youtube]

[dot-matrix]

Sometimes a kiss is more than a kiss   

[youtube=425,350]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=CFmFm7N7M0o[/youtube]

[Katie77]

BACK IN THE OLD DAYS


 

Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider's home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account


A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

And if you had a 3 inch floppy

You hoped no one ever noticed !!!!!
















 




 





 







 






 



 
 
 
 

[Kerry]

[TXdoug]