Kerry's Komedy Klub

[dot-matrix]

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric,
the 11 year old boy from next door, whose bedroom
looks like Mission Control, to come over. Eric clicked
a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So what
was wrong ?"
He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but none the less inquired,
An ID tenT error ? "What's that . . .In case I need to fix
it again?"

Eric grinned . . . "Haven't you ever heard of the ID ten T
ever before ?" "No," I replied.

"Write it down," he said, And I think you'll figure it out."
So I wrote down I D I O T. I used to like Eric !!

[dot-matrix]

Brookpark, Ohio. Burglars recently broke in to an
unoccupied house that was being renovated for sale.
Among the items they stole were roofing shingles, a lawn
mower, weed whackers, and lumber.

They broke into a storage area under the deck and also
a shed in the back. Before leaving, though, they mowed
the lawn of the residence.

Neighbors report seeing strange men walking around the
the home, but they never called the police, because they
figured the men had been hired to cut the lawn.

The owners are quoted as saying they will leave a pressure
washer and painting equipment for the thieves next week
as they did a better job than the lawn care company they
had hired. and they were cheaper also.

[dot-matrix]

An elderly gentleman . . . had serious hearing problems
for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the
doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing
aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor
and he said "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be
really pleased that you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told them yet. I just
sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed
my will three times."

[dot-matrix]

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being
discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I
found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on
the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need
my help to leave the hospital,

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel
him into the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom
changing out of her hospital gown."

[dot-matrix]

A couple in their nineties were both having problems
remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor
tells them that they are fine physically, but they might
want to start writing things down to help remember
them.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets
up from his chair, "Want anything from the kitchen?"
he asks.
"Will you get me a bowl of icecream ?" "Sure."
Don't you think you you should write it down, so you
can remember it ?" she asks.

"No. I can remember it."
"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top too, Maybe
you should write it down so as not to forget ?"

He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl
of ice cream with strawberries."
"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll
foget that. Write it down." she says.

Irratated, he says, "I don't need to write iy gown. Ice
cream with strawberries and whipped cream.. I get it
for goodness sake."

Then he toddles off to the kitchen. After about twenty
minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and
hands his wife a plate of baon and eggs. She stares at
it for a moment, then says, "Where's my toast?"

[dot-matrix]

Morris, an 82 year old man, went to the doctor to get
a physical. A few data later, the doctor saw Morris
walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman
on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and
said, :You're doing really great, aren't you ?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc. "Get
a hot mamma and be cheerful."

The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, "You've got
a heart murmur, be careful."

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]