Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Katie77]

[Katie77]

Two Red Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods.



All of a sudden one of the Red Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a
small cave.

 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened
closely until he heard an answering,



'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo!



He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

 The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was
all about,.



'Was the other Indian crazy or what?'

 The Indian replied 'No, It is our custom during mating season when
Indian men see cave, they holler



'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer
back, it means there's a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us.

 Just then they came upon another cave.



The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered,



'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'



Immediately, there was the answer.



'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside.

 He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.

 The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then
spied a third large cave.



As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking,



'Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the
Indians found.



There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!'

 He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might



'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Like the others, he then heard an answering
call, 'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!'



With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the
cave,tearing off his clothes as he ran.

The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read...............









 You'll like this

























 NAKED IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!!

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Katie77]

"What Matters Most is How You See Yourself"


Heres the difference in how men and women see themselves......

[Katie77]

FBI Requirements
 
 The FBI had an opening for an assassin.

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . . . Kill her!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. There was screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet.

The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."


MORAL:
Women are crazy. Don't mess with them

[Kerry]

MORAL:
Women are crazy. Don't mess with them

Ha-ha, that reminds me of a dinner party I attended many years ago. A woman had been holding forth for some time, berating the assembled company with tales of the vengeance she had wrought on her cheating ex-husband. She finished off with the old cliche, "Hell knows no fury like a woman scorned." To which, quick as a flash, a bitchy, sharp tongued gay guy seated nearby, responded, "There is one thing faaaar worse than a woman scorned, girlfriend, and that's a queen who's been crossed."

[Katie77]

Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators so far

during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

1. Weightlifting commentator: 'This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw
her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'

2. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from
personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother
and father.'

4. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths
in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'

5. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we can
expect the same thing again.'

6. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't
like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the
IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'

8. Soccer commentator: 'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've
got eleven Dicks on the field.'

9. Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is
that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses
them... Oh my God, what have I just said?'
 



 

[Kerry]

[oilgun]

Funny? or Sad?

In any event, it must be a short article...