Kerry's Komedy Klub

[dot-matrix]

A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F."

He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."

She looked puzzled and repeated, "T-G-I-F,"more slowly.

He again answered, "S-H-I-T."

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F."

The man smiled back to her and once again said, "S-H-I-T."

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain. "T-G-I-F" means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it? Duuhhh....."

The man answered, "yes. 'S-H-I-T' means, 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday.'

[dot-matrix]

Maybe they pluck the bills outta your smokin' pocket! 

[Shasta542]

Maybe they pluck the bills outta your smokin' pocket! 

       They gotta cut the current first!

[dot-matrix]

Moron in the bakery

Keep in mind this actually really did happen!!!! This is someone who was moving from a claims office.

Okay so this is how I imagine this conversation went:

Walmart Employee: "Hello 'dis Walmarts, how can I help you?"

Customer: " I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week."

Walmart Employee: "What you want on the cake?"

Customer: "Best Wishes Suzanne" and underneath that "We will miss you".

Walmart Employee: "Dat all? Okay, Bye."

[dot-matrix]

ATTENTION PLEASE THE FOLLOWING IS A HEALTH WARNING FROM THE GOVERNMENT

You are hereby advised, never to swallow bubblegum.



 
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[dot-matrix]

A little boy opened the big family bible, He was fascinated
as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something
fell out of the bible. He picked up the object and looked at
it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in
between its pages.

"Mummy, look what I found?" the boy called.
"What have you got there, dear ?"

With astonishment in his voice, he answered, "I think it's
Adam's underpants."

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]