Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[underdown]

Groooooan........
I ate too much.
*
Grooooooooan .......
I'll never do that again.
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Mooooooan, groooooooan .....
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New Year's resolution...........
.... ummm ... what was it again 
 

[dot-matrix]

[Kerry]

[dot-matrix]

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic school. Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?"



When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Paulie who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary Margaret.

The Nun said, "Very good" and continued teaching her class. A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, "Who is our Lord and Savior?"


But Mary didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, Paulie came to the rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt.

"Jesus Christ!!!" shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said, "Very good," and Mary Margaret fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question..."What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"

Again, Paulie came to the rescue.

This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"



The nun fainted...........

[dot-matrix]

CHINESE PROVERBS

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Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

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Man who run in front of car get tired.

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Man who run behind car get exhausted.

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Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

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Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

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Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

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Man with one chopstick go hungry.

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Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

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Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

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Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

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Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.

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War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

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Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

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Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

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It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

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Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

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Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

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Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

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Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

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Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

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Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

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[Kerry]