Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Kerry]

[TXdoug]

Happy Day to U !!!!

{{{ Kerry }}}

[dot-matrix]

As a guy walks through a forest, a fairy suddenly appears and offers him a free wish. He removes a pocket atlas and points towards different countries: "Here is suffering, there, hunger, and over there people are tortured. I want all people to be free and healthy. Can you do that?"

The fairy sighs and says: "Well, this is very difficult, even for me. Is there a chance that you can come up with another wish instead that would make it a little easier?"

The guy answers: "As a matter of fact, there is. You see, I play the bagpipes, and have such a difficult time with the embellishments. Do you think you could...".

"OK - let's look at that atlas one more time".

[dot-matrix]

So anyway,
there's this piper who's never made the money he wanted, that's piping. He gets run over by a bus and due to his unruly life, goes to Hell.

He's standing at the iron gates when a bellowing voice calls out, "A piper are we? Go to corridor C, door 78!". So on he goes, pipes in hand. As he walks down the corridor he's struck dumb by this absolutely amazing pipe music. He follows the sound until he finally comes to the source of the sound.

He can't believe his luck when he opens the door, all the great pipers are here. One looks over at him and says, "Join us". He starts piping, dumb-founded with his luck. If this was Hell, then he'd happy spending eternity here.

Just then the door opens and in walks in Satan himself: "'Right lads!, Break time over! Take your places.....A-one-two-three-four, 'Left a good job in the city...'".

[dot-matrix]

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus. After ordering a drink he declares that his very talented octopus can play any instrument in the room and will bet $50 on it.

So the fiddler accepts the bet and hands over his fiddle; the octopus takes it and plays beautifully; the fiddler hands over his $50. Another chap hands a trumpet to the octopus whereupon the octopus plays a thrilling trumpet solo; another $50 for the octopus. The same thing happens with a guitar and a set of drums -- just imagine 8 arms playing the drums!!! Another $ 50 each.

Then Hamish McTavish hands over his bagpipes and the octopus turns them first one way then the other.... The octopus looks rather puzzled. Nothing, not a sound....

Hamish says to the octopus: "That'll be $50 please since you can't play it!"

"Play it?" says the octopus, "I'm going to screw it as soon as I figure out how to get it out of its pajamas!!!"

[Katie77]

This little animal really exists.....Its called a Naked Mole Rat from Africa.

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

Happy Day to U !!!!

{{{ Kerry }}}

Hey, Doug! Happy days to you! TGIF! 

[Shasta542]

Before marriage....

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!

 



After marriage....
Simply read from bottom to top.

[dot-matrix]