Kerry's Komedy Klub

[dot-matrix]

A few dreaded BLONDE jokes.....

  What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Look! They spelled MACY's wrong!"

  Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?
She wanted to get a dark tan.

  What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl?
"Just flush it like everybody else does."

  Hear about the blonde explorer?
She bought a piece of sandpaper thinking it was a map of the Sahara Desert.

  Did you hear the one about the blonde that had a problem with her bed?
She couldn't find a knife large enough to apply the bed spread.

  What is every blonde's ambition in life?
To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

  How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
She threw it off of a cliff.

  How did the blonde burn her nose?
Bobbing for french fries.

  Why do blondes have see-through lunch box tops?
So they can tell if they are going to work or going home, while on the bus.

  Why do blondes like lightning?
They think someone is taking their picture.

  Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
From eating with forks.

  What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A space invader.

  What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
Branch manager.

  Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
From crawling across the street when the sign said "don't walk."

[dot-matrix]

A young working couple  would frequently ask the retired couple next door what they do to make their days interesting.  One day the wife answered:

"Well, for example, the other day we went into town and into a shop.
We were only in there about 5 minutes.
When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a
senior citizen a break ?"

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Dumbbutt.
He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires,
So I called him a butthead.

He finished writing the second ticket and put it on the windshield with
the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more
tickets he wrote.

Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus. We try to have
a little fun each day now that we are retired. It's important at our age."

[dot-matrix]

[Kerry]

The desalination vs recycled sewage debate continues to rage in Oz. Personally, I veer towards desalination myself. After all, Australia is an island, surrounded by ocean. If we built plenty of desalination plants, we'd have as much fresh, clean drinking water as we could possibly need. And besides, I just can't seem to get my head around the idea of drinking recycled sewage. Yetch! 

[ifyoucantfixit]

         I hear ya!!!!!!!!!!

[Kerry]

         I hear ya!!!!!!!!!!

 

[dot-matrix]

[dot-matrix]

[Dagi]

I want one with chocolate sauce please. 

[Katie77]

> LIFE IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL
>
> A nurse walks into a room and sees a patient pretending he's driving a
> truck, with his hands at 10 to 2. The nurse asks him, 'Kenny! What are you
> doing?'
> Kenny replies, 'Can't talk right now I'm driving to Melbourne !' The nurse
> wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.
> The next day the nurse enters Kenny's room just as he stops driving his
> imaginary truck and she asks,
> 'Well Kenny, how was your trip?'
> Kenny says, 'I'm exhausted, I just got into Melbourne and I need some
> rest.
> That's great,' replied the nurse, 'I'm glad you had a safe trip.'
> The nurse leaves Kenny's room, and then goes across the hall into another
> patients' room and finds Davo sitting on his bed masturbating vigorously.
> Shocked, she shouts, 'Davo what are you doing!?' To which Davo replies,
>
> 'Shhh, I'm shagging Kenny's wife while he's in Melbourne '.
 
 
 

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