Kerry's Komedy Klub

[dot-matrix]

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they
had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a man from Albania and bragged
that he told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and
house cleaning that needed to be done. He said it took a
couple of days, but on the third day he came home to a clean
house and the dishes all done and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Korea. He
bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to
do all the cleaning, dishes and cooking. He told them that
the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it
was better and by the third day, his house was clean, the
dishes done and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married an Australian girl. He boasted
that he told her that her duties were to keep the house
cleaned, dishes washed, lawns mowed, laundry washed
and hot meals on the table every day.

He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day
he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the
swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his
left eye.

Got to love them Australian girls !!! You Go Girls!   

[Katie77]

.

Got to love them Australian girls !!! You Go Girls!   

You sure got that right.......hahahha....

[Kerry]

The third man had married an Australian girl. He boasted
that he told her that her duties were to keep the house
cleaned, dishes washed, lawns mowed, laundry washed
and hot meals on the table every day.

He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day
he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the
swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his
left eye.

Got to love them Australian girls !!! You Go Girls!   

Never give an Australian woman an order. He was clearly not an Australian himself. If he was, he would have known better. He was lucky to have lived to tell the tale.     

[Kerry]

"Putin and Bush are fishing on the Volga River. After half an hour, Bush complains, "Vladimir, I'm getting bitten like crazy by mosquitoes, but I haven't seen a single one bother you." Putin replies, "They know better than that."

From "A Tsar is Born"
Time Magazine
31 December 2007
 

[dot-matrix]

from belief.net

American-Yiddish Dictionary

JEWBILATION - Pride in finding out that one's favorite celebrity is Jewish.

TORAHFIED - Inability to remember one's lines at one's Bar or Bat mitzvah.

CHUTZPAPA - A father who wakes his wife at 4:00 AM so she can change the baby's diaper.

DISORIYENTA - When Aunt Sadie gets lost in a department store and strikes up a conversation with everyone she passes.

MISHPOCHAMARKS - The assorted lipstick and make-up stains found on one's face and collar after kissing all one's aunts and cousins at a reception.

ROSH HASHANANA - A rock 'n roll band from Brooklyn.

FEELAWFUL - Indigestion from eating Israeli street food.

KINDERSCHLEP - To transport other kids in your car besides yours.

OYVAYSMEAR - What one says when the cream cheese squeezes out of the bagel and falls on your clean pants.

JEWDO - A traditional form of self-defense based on talking one's way out of a tight spot.


BAD JOKE DISCLAIMER: We recognize that religious humor can be risky. It is our hope that by laughing at ourselves (and others) we can make this subject more approachable. If you find any of these objectionable, we apologize. Many were posted on Beliefnet, some were passed along via email and others spotted on other websites. As with most jokes, the original authors are unknown -- but we thank them.

[dot-matrix]

[dot-matrix]

[dot-matrix]

[dot-matrix]

[dot-matrix]