Oh David, you are having a rough ride at the moment.
James father is an alcoholic, non drinking now for 5 years.His mother before him was and she has been dry for 20 years.
I know only too well the humiliating and stinging barbs of the drinking alcoholic. If it's any consolation people usually just feel sorry for the recipient.
I ended up not going anywhere with my ex. or having people round, it was way too cringe making. I never thought he would stop drinking and indeed he did not until everyone, his mother included had gone the tough love route. He became isolated apart from his alcoholic cohorts.
You should do the tough love thing, otherwise if you try to accommodate her, you do her no favours.
I have no idea how my mother in law found the courage to throw her son out, but she did. Maybe because she had reached her own rock bottom some years previously and knew it was the only way.
If the whites of her eyes are turning yellow, then she is jaundiced which in turn means her liver is in trouble. The liver is remarkable in its ability to regenerate but only for so long.
Your sister needs help, but unfortunately it can not come from you.The very first impetus for change has to be hers,no one else can do it.
Please for your own sanity and happiness, put your foot down and under no circumstances feel guilty about it. You are a lovely sweet man and have been so kind to me.Do not let your sister maneuver you into a corner.If a mother can turn her back on her son, to help him get well, you can with your sister.Trite but true, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.
I am sending cyber hugs winging your way.